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Nov 28, 2009, 12:59am

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Message Board :: Development :: Writer's World :: Cardinal Sin

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Topic: Cardinal Sin (Read 38 times)

Raven
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The Mother of Genesis

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Cardinal Sin
« Thread Started on May 15, 2008, 4:59am »

Okay, First off my English is bad so please understand if theres bad grammer XD.

Prologue:

On a dark and stormy night at a village known as Vector, in a small cabin, just out of the village not even a mile.A very powerful warrior makes some tea, outside two mysterious people talk. Woman: why do we need to do this, we should just go into hiding. Man: No, you know why we cant keep them, we got, important mission. Woman: I know but why this Man? Man: Cause he's a very great and powerful warrior, he'll take good care of them don't worry. Woman: okay lets just do this. in side the cabin, the warrior is drinking his tea and reading his scrolls, but he is interrupted when theres a loud knock at the door. He slowly goes to the door, Thinking: Why must they bother me? I just want some peace. He opens the door, and he sees no one then, looks down, and sees two Baby's sleeping. The Warrior thinks to himself: What kind of mother would leave her children in the rain? he bends down, and moves the blanket in one baby basket seeing something on the baby's chest then he checks the other baby. The Warrior thinking: is this why she left them? I thought they were all killed? Well need to take care of them he said but what to name them? Then he sees names on each basket, the one on the left is named Narshe. The one on the right is named Manda. What great names he said as he takes the baskets in side his warm cabin. outside behind some tree's the woman sheds tears as she walks away with the man on there mission.

d**n just the Prologue for now, sorry it seems corny doesn't it, XD. Well I hope you liked.

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S-Dokuro
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Re: Cardinal Sin
« Reply #1 on May 15, 2008, 7:46am »

Aside from the grammar at times the prologue was neat. I'll proof read if I ever get the time to do so.

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Raven
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The Mother of Genesis

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Re: Cardinal Sin
« Reply #2 on Sept 24, 2008, 7:13pm »

ok here comes chapter 1 >:D

7 years later two kids are getting ready for their first day of school. Man: Ok, you two hurry up and get ready or you'll be late. Kid: Ok, Daddy were ready. Come on Narshe lets go! Narshe: Ok im coming Manda. Man: Hm, sometimes he can be really depressing, as Narshe and Manda walk to school some people are whispering and looking at them. Manda: I wonder why their staring at us? Narshe: How'em I supposed to know? I'm not a mind reader. Manda: Why are you so mean sometimes? Later at school its lunch time. Manda: Lets see what Dad made me... oh man its vegetables, eww. Narshe: Manda, you should just eat it or he'll get upset. Just then a kid throws a pudding at Narshe. Narshe: Hey what was the for? Kid#1: Cause your a Vampire. kid#2: Yeah, the village leader Hanzo said so. Manda: That's not true. Back at their home, Narshe stays in his room sobing. Man: Don't worry Manda. Hanzou is just an old fool to be honest he's a joke among the Warrior world. Manda: umm ok. Later on at night the man is talking to a mysterious figure. MF: Do you think its him? Man: Yeah i think so, he'll be the one to destroy Enternal Darkness. MF: Good train both of them then when he's old enough, we will fight and he'll kill me. END

man kinda boring

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